Balanced Breath, Boardwalk Walks & Salty Ocean Breeze
I have been privileged to spend 4 days in the Venice, CA setting to write, reflect, and rest with the taste of sea breeze just blocks from my bedroom. After the Santa Cruz Crazies episode I decided it was time to cruise south down the CA coast to the Venice – Marina Del Rey Beach area where I have several amazing girl friends who put up with me for a few days. Being here in Venice Beach has given an me an opportunity to rest, take a hot shower everyday, sleep in a soft bed, eat great food, drink fantastic wine, and experience numerous dynamic profound conversations. I am extremely appreciative to all my girl friends in CA, as they were so hospitable and supported my soul with the gift of space, solitude, and quietness in my summer journey. I will admit that loosing my dad’s 1,000,000-mile safe driving medallion truly brought up some intense emotions that I had buried about his death back on October 4, 2008. While driving down the coast on Thursday night I stopped several times in the Cambria and Morro Bay area to journal a number of feelings about the Santa Cruz Crazies. I certainly enjoyed visiting the Morro Bay area again, as I have always been fond of that area when my dear friend Beth W. lived in Los Osos. Actually the last trip I made to Los Osos was a few years ago when Beth presented me with the compelling picture of the coffee mug that was a pivotal theme, which initiated my life transformation towards a more peaceful, joyful, and happy single life. Who would have ever thought that a picture of a coffee mug with foaming cream would provide the inspiration for everything that is unfolding in my life each day? My last blog post on Thursday was written in the Morro Bay area, yes at a Starbucks. My lifetime friend Holly informed me the other night that it is time to expand my horizons and search out a variety of local coffee houses on my travels. While eating dinner the other night with my friends they shared some great insight and a different perspective into my blog with ideas about possibly branding myself. The first thing that came to my mind when Lynda said, “Hey Deb you should consider branding yourself.” The only thing that popped into my mind when Lynda mentioned the word branding was a hot cattle prod tattoo sticking a BIG B on my ass. I have quite an imagination with certain words that rumble through my brain from time to time. Over the years I have just embraced my funky sense of humor with an imaginative lens of viewing the world through a different perspective. I have been blessed with much insight on this journey, as many friends have shared ideas for the future on how to expand my travel blog.
I truly value diverse opinions that are deepening the process into my passion with writing and story telling. I would welcome a private message or phone call from any of my friends or family who know anything about branding. PLEASE…No branding irons needed to motivate me, as I am already hot and fired up about this idea. Yesterday was packed with many incredible conversations that fed my soul with renewed vigor. One particular conversation that has my brain circling the planet was when Lynda mentioned, “Deb look around, there are people creating money out of nothing these days. Entrepreneurs are popping up everywhere making fistfuls of cash out of thin air.” I have always embraced the entrepreneur spirit, yet never considered myself clever or courageous enough to dream up an idea and envision it would pay the bills. Everything that is happening in my life is unfolding just as it is suppose to happen. My only responsibility is to stay true to myself, be 100% transparent, remain present in each day, and continue to trust the universe. It does not surprise me that I drew these cards this morning as they100% resonate with my heart, spirit, and soul. In fact, I also drew 2 of these cards yesterday, which is not a coincidence. I have never been mislead with my spirit intuition when I allow my positive energy to freely flow and ask God and the universe to continue to feed my faith with passion and conviction. These are the spirit cards that I drew 2 days in a row; Walk Away – Leave the unhealthy situation and enjoy new doors that open as a result, and Summer- Everything that you are asking for becomes yours in the summertime.
In the early morning yesterday I spent several hours walking at the beach in silence. At all times my sea spirit holds space for me to reflect, revise, remember, release, relax, rewind, review, repent, rework, redo, and rewrite my personal story. As I strolled in silence in the surf I continually felt the sand shifting beneath my feet pulling me out to sea and then pushing me to the shore. Finding the balance in this constant push and pull of life is what I am now calling, “The Sweet Spot On the Edge.” Each wave on the beach is different as she slides across the sand washing pebbles and shells of time upon the shore. For me the ocean represents the perfect ebb and flow of how my life and spirit desire to be lived peacefully and joyfully in balance. When I walk in the surf I am able to toss years of mental bondage into to the waves and release the past. The sea provides me with immeasurable treasures as she continually washes ashore valuable lessons within my life. I find that the sea is my sweet spot of balance in the ebb and flow of life, peace, and harmony. The incredible undertow that life threw at me over the past 10 years finally was too powerful, as I could no longer find my way back to the shore. For at least the past 2 years I felt the undertow of great personal loss, financial devastation, loss of my beloved partner, who sadly continues with her own battles of tremendous pain and loss in life. My personal experience was an endless swimming back and forth parallel to the shore in complete survival mode trying to locate a lifeguard stand. My lifeguard stared back at me in the mirror in December 2016, when I finally listened to my inner voice, as she spoke clearly to me and said, “Deb save yourself and start kicking like hell out of the undertow, as you can’t fix this one." For me the ocean provides a constant motion of gentle guidance to a number of my biggest questions into my future journey. The sea provides a connection to my spirit beyond my capacity to fully understand in this moment. She allows me to discover what I need to learn by gifting me lessons through the natural ebb and flow of finding my balance to stand-alone. The sea keeps me present in each step as my body and mind naturally adjust to the constant sway in her waves pushing and pulling me at her will. To truly walk with the sea I must submit to the control that is beyond my power as she has ultimate strength and will always win. As I loaded the car this morning to head back towards Arkansas I had to muster every ounce of my strength to actually leave as I was born to be an old salt dog. I know that my time to fully embrace life by the ocean is coming soon, as I can’t fight the burning desire to write, grow, and continue to learn within her shores. Considering a huge life change was complicated for me, as it took a long time to finally swim through the undertow of circumstances I could not control. I am beginning to fully understand how unknown changes will open up beautiful new opportunities, as I have freed myself from the undertow of guilt, regret, sorrow, and the weight of trying to always predict the future. I am fully embracing this journey whole-heartily into the unknown. I am sitting here today smiling with a soft smile of joy, abundance, and grateful appreciation into the future. Upon leaving the CA coast today I said to my sea spirit, “You have great patience and waited for me, I’ll be back soon as I am in the final stages of preparation for you.”
I continue to discover the many daily gifts being shared with me on this fascinating journey. One of my awesome yoga instructors Marilisa at NWA Hot Yoga gifted this noteworthy walking mediation book before I left on my trip out west. I read it 4 times and gifted it to another special friend for further reflection into her own walk. As I continued to read the book 1 specific page pulled me back for another re-read. For that reason, I would love to share the significance of how this page greatly impacted me. Letting Go Of The Past – Most of us walk without chains, yet we aren’t free. We’re tethered to regret and sorrow from the past. We return to the past and continue to suffer. The past is a prison. But now you have the key to unlock the door and arrive in the present moment. You breathe in, you bring your mind home to your body, you make a step, and you arrive in the here and now. There is sunshine, the beautiful trees, and songs of the birds.
May the Journey Begin Within You