Morning Cliff Side Perspective
Yesterday provided some excellent metaphors for me into my continued journey of deep reflection into my purpose and passion. A few days ago I embraced a funny FUBA, which actually was a blessing of magical scenery. I would have missed the entire middle Oregon Gold Coast, as the night before I drove NORTH, (JFK moment) in a trance of evening sea fog. During each step of this journey I am paying very close attention to the universal signs that are being gifted to me. We all have a little voice in our heart and spirit that speaks to us in times of reflection and stillness, however we cover up our lives with so much noise that we push the voice aside and say, “Shut up, I will do that later. Just keep your nose to the grind and build a nest egg for tomorrow. Make more money, climb the next step of success, and then I will go travel.” Well unfortunately I personally have experienced what happens when the mind, heart, conscious, and societal pressures get tangled up into the reality of our everyday life. For me, tomorrow was changed in an instance through the painful loss of my lake house dream, family tragedy beyond belief, Susan’s horrific accident, family guilt, financial devastation, and eventually my personal loss of purpose. That was probably a run on sentence, but today I am not worried about grammar as much as my purpose in writing. I told myself months ago, “Deb, if telling your story with transparency helps 1 person reconsider the current trajectory of their life then you have made a difference.” I have always believed God put me on this earth to do hard work, never did I consider that my hard work would be telling a story of personal survival, changing perspective of no expectations, and the human experience. My life thus far has been a roller coaster filled with my faithful supportive sister Laura, remarkable friends, 2 great loves, many golden animals, multiple careers, and a creative spirit. I have always had an adventuresome soul, which I find fascinating, as it seems to be a longtime character trait in the Walter bloodline. I have always figured a way to push through the pain to the next chapter of my life, even when the pages seem to be stuck together. I never could have imagined that I would be able to see my life from this perspective 7 months ago. On the other hand, when you allow yourself to be still and listen to the voice that lives within our soul the universal guide lights a path to learn, accept, turn the page, and move on. I know that many of my friends and family are in the precise spot for their personal life journey. Nonetheless, I offer my writings as a free gift from an insiders glance into a different perception. I guarantee the climb for me after hitting rock bottom in December 2016 had its moments of despair, struggle, great sadness, and terrible depression. Then again, I am learning exactly what I am suppose to experiencing during the process. I truly could not move forward in life until I peeled the onion all the way to the core and dug deep into the middle of my soul. Many people have written books about life changing perspectives after terrible personal tragedies, and I am beginning to understand how such a transformation can happen for an individual. I have endured multiple horrible tragedies over the past 10 years, so I figure God wanted to make sure I clearly got his point, so I would continue my work through my writing. Many people may ask how could a Physical Education teacher from Arkansas make a living writing about the human experience? I will figure that out soon, but I am not worried about that today or tomorrow. Staying present with what fills my heart today, I will go in search of my friend Janet’s coastal property here in Ft. Bragg, CA. Janet will build a little retirement spot for her and Beth in the coming years.
I experienced the most fabulous 2-lane winding mountain road last evening through the mountains. It was 38 miles of twisted narrow roads with blind corners filled with hundred-year-old redwoods just inches from the pavement. My little Outback was a blast to drive through the challenging and demanding concentration filled drive to the CA coast. Janet and Beth warned me not to drive the road at night, but I could not resist the urge to seek out this mysterious two-lane passage to the ocean. I finally popped out of the forest after an hour of constant shifting and wheel gripping action still grinning with heart pounding excitement while listening to my favorite songs from Barbara Streisand. My personal favorite is, “Lessons to Be Learned,” if you have never listened to this particular song I highly recommend pulling it up on U-Tube, as she wrote it for me. I popped out on highway 1 onto the stunning Mendocino Coast at roughly 9:00pm watching sun drop below the horizon. I immediately pulled off the highway at the first open pullover area that dropped straight off a cliff area about 200 feet above the rocky sea. I took this picture when I arrived at this magical spot, which for me metaphorically represents a sliver lining of heaven and earth touching in the middle of my personal experience. I could not imagine how far it was to the bottom of the cliff, but it was certainly a straight down plummet to a sure death. I pulled the Outback as close to the edge of the cliff as I dared, so I could get a front row seat to my multi-million dollar private view for the night. I crawled into the back of my reliable 2012 Outback nest and slept with the door open to the sea with a perfect starlit night of Pacific wonder. I fell asleep with the continual sound of massive waves slamming into the ocean bluffs below the cliff with a salt laden misty breeze filling my car. There were moments when the crashing waves were so enormous that they sounded like a shotgun blast beneath the surface of the water. The supremacy of the ocean was so intimate with me last night that I was able to feel a complete space of joy. I had one fleeting thought as I closed my eyes last night, “Deb if this cliff collapses tonight and your car tumbles into the sea then you have the perfect view to heaven.” Last night I woke up several times and thought to myself, “This is an absolute paramount spot and you would pay $5000 a night for this view and experience.” There was very little traffic near my Cliffside heaven, as most sane folks probably would not chance the high risk of driving that treacherous 38-mile stretch in the dark with animals, mammoth redwoods, and no shoulder to pull off. However for me it was defiantly worth the chance as the reward was beyond a blessed evening experience.
When I woke up today about 7:00am I had some decent cell phone service and perched my lawn chair very close to the cliff to share a few pictures with loved ones around the country. Today I will soak in the Ft. Bragg community for a few hours and make my way down the 1 towards San Francisco and Santa Cruz coastline.
May the Journey Begin Within You